Joke of the Day

mmaria

Buna dimineata! Ce faceti, crosetati ciorapeii pentru darurile Mosului Nick? :*:*:*:*:*

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27 de sfaturi de viata simpatice si utile…

1. Fii politicos. Lumii ii plac oamenii politicosi. Oamenii politicosi se aleg cu lucruri, inclusiv gratuite.

2. Fii atent la detalii. Detaliile conteaza.

3. Fetele costa.

4. Masinile costa.

5. Daca faci un eseu si vrei sa fie mai lung, apasa CTRL+F si schimba marimea punctului. De ex. de la 12 la 14.

6. Asteapta reducerile in magazine.

7. Daca ti se blocheaza vreodata creierul, apasa cu limba pe cerul gurii si-si da drumul.

8. Nu-ti fie frica sa ceri ajutor.

9. Deschide bananele de la fund spre varf.

10. Cand mananci o aripioara de pui cu doua oase, elimina osul cel mic. Nu ratezi asa nicio bucata de carne.

11. Nu fi nepoliticos cu un politist care-ti da o amenda.

12. Daca vreodata vreun politist te intreaba unde mergi, sa-i spui ACASA.

13. Cinstea primeste respect. Daca esti respectat vei avea mai multe oportunitati.

14. Daca trebuie vreodata sa iesi noaptea la baie, tine un ochi inchis ca sa pastrezi “vederea de noapte”.

15. Nota 10. Obtine-o!

16. Bicicletele sunt mai ieftine ca masinile si ajuta mai mult sanatatea.

17. Adauga in CV faptul ca ai fost desemnat omul anului in 2006. In anul 2006, revista Time a desemnat pe “toata lumea” (You) omul anului.

18. Daca bati usor pe capacul unei doze de bautura acidulata, va face mai putine bule.

19. Daca uiti vreodata numele cuiva, intreaba-l “scuze, care ziceati ca e numele dvs.?” Chiar daca or sa fie usor iritati or sa vi-l spuna. Insa dupa ce vi-l spun i-o bagati pe aia “a, ma refeream la numele de familie”. Buuum. Si i-ai aflat numele si te dai si destept :)

20. Restartand computerul, revolvi 75% din problemele pe care le are.

21. Fii mereu cool dar nu haotic.

22. Foloseste prezervativul.

23. Sa-ti salvezi cat de des poti documentele sub forma .doc. Va merge si cu Office 2003.

24. Ia-ti mereu un minut ca sa te asiguri ca nu ai uitat nimic inainte sa iesi. E mai bine decat sa pierzi 10 minute daca te int

mmaria

Un domn la raionul de cosmetice:

-Aveti sampon?

- De oua.

- Si pe cap, cu ce ma spal?

25

24. Ia-ti mereu un minut ca sa te asiguri ca nu ai uitat nimic inainte sa iesi. E mai bine decat sa pierzi 10 minute daca te intorci din drum.

25. Salveaza ceea ce faci.

26. Scrie-ti ideile unde poti.

27. Asculta muzica daca esti intr-o stare proasta…

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Why are women like snow flakes??

They are all beautiful.
They are all different.
They can all be cold as ice.
But they'll all melt when they land on your face......

25

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is
having an affair with his secretary."

"I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie snapped."You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!"


:))))))))))

25

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. "I'm 90 years old," he says.
"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"
"Oh, sorry," says the old man, "how much do I owe you?"

:))

25

Q: What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?

A: Oil of Ole'

V|p3r_m3n

Buna dimineata! Am auzit ca o sa vina Mosul si pe la noi. :)))

mpq

http://thechive.com/2010/12/03/time-to-christen-this-week-with-some-awesome/
check pic no27 :)))

Parmalat

neata all
pls un vot, pentru o cauza nobila!!!

http://www.impreunapentrufiecare.ro/fapte-bune/serbare-de-craciun/319#vote-319

maryjan

neatza

Andreyiy

asd :)) si in loc de bip face aaaah

25

ASD ..mai sunt si minori pe aici ... next time cenzureaza si tu ce trebuie cenzurat.

Benu

1. rog moderatorii sa nu stearga nici unul din comentariile userului ASD.
2. rog aceiasi moderatori sa nu ii stearga nici contul ;) , ca na, merita sa-l aiba pt vecie pe site :P

Multumesc ;))

codrul

seara buna! oare vine mosul si la mine? eu accept si o baba de la 18 ani in sus!!

nume_nepermis_786

sau sa te-nfigi ...cu dintii intr-o acadea?

bibi_n

Dementia Quiz
       Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.
       They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.

   To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time , but instead, answer each of them immediately.
   OK?
   Let's find out just how clever you really are....

.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q's and A's )
First Question :
You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
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Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!
Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?



Second Question :
I f you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)

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Answer : If you answered that you are second to last, then you are  ; ; ; ;WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question :
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 . Now add 10 . What is the total?
Scroll down for the correct answer.....
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