Bancul Zilei

bufnitel

buna seara:D

bufnitel

mi se pare mie sau sunt singurul care din aripi pe aici la ora asta?:))))

gyovy

Buna dimineatza!:*:*:*

misterra

Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?

A. Fucks Funny!

misterra

A Koala bear decides he wants to get laid, so he picks up a hooker. He goes down on her several times and they are really enjoying themselves. After they are finished the koala bear starts getting dressed.
The hooker says, "wheres my money?"
The koala bear shrugs his shoulders. The hooker repeats herself asking for her money. Again he shrugs his shoulders. The hooker grabs a dictionary and looks up the word hooker and shows it to the koala bear.
It says "gets paid for sex."
The koala bear picks up the dictionary and looks up Koala Bear and shows it to the hooker.
It says, "Eats bush and leaves!"
=))))

misterra

One day God came to Adam for a brief discussion. "I've got some good news and some bad news." God said.
Adam looked thoughtfully at his maker and replied, "Please give me the good news first."
Smiling, God explained, "I've created two new organs for you. One is called a brain. This organ will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and carry on productive conversations with Eve. The other organ is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your intelligent life form and begin populating the planet. Eve will be very pleased that you are now equipped with this organ as she will be able to conceive children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great and wonderful gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
God then looked upon Adam, and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

misterra

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles.
A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description. "Mother of six," he would say, "Get me a beer!" "Hey mother of six, what's for dinner tonight?" This type of situation persisted to a boiling point.
Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yelled out, "Hey mother of six, I think it's time to go!"
The wife seized the moment and shouted back, "I'll be right with you -- father of four!"

=)))))

misterra

The Facts Of Life
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"
Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell, and goes on to tell her the works.
He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub topics and by the time he's finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge. Her father finally asks: "So what did you want to know about sex for?"
"Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..."

misterra

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counsellor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 5 - - 10 - - 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counsellor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless. He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.
The counsellor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"
The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can bring her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

misterra

It seems that a young couple had just got married and spent their first wedding night with the young man's parents. In the morning, his mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast including freshly cut flowers from her garden and gourmet food. She went to the bottom the stairs and called everyone to come down to breakfast. Everyone came down, except the newly-weds. After a long wait, the family ate without them.
The mother said, "I wonder why they never came down to eat?"
The groom's young brother said, "Mommy, I think..."
"Oh, shut up. I don't want to hear what you think!" said the mother, not wanting to hear any inappropriate comments from the eight-year-old.
At lunch time, the mother again prepared a wonderful spread and again called the young couple to eat. Five minutes went by and she called again. After another long wait, the family proceeded to eat.
As she was cleaning the table, mother once again said, "I wonder why they never came down to eat? Once again, the younger brother started to speak, but mother immediately shut him up.
At dinner the same thing happened. After the meal, mother once again questioned why they had not come down to eat all day.
The young lad once again said, "Mommy I think..."
"Well, what is it that you think?" asked the mother rather testily.
"I think that when my big brother came down to get the Vaseline last night, he got my model airplane glue instead!"

misterra

Asta-i din categoria "Cand o situatie pare fara iesire si ai nevoie de o solutie... apeleaza la ajutorul unui copil". Imaginatia lor nu are limite :)))

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back into the hole.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."
The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma."

misterra

A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm.
"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..."

=))))) =))))))) =)))))

Eu4ever

neatza!

Eu4ever

doare eu, misterra si madd on...si inca 5...pff...

Eu4ever

doar...scz

Eu4ever

nu-i puteti da ban lui nea' diaconeasa?

Efe

Buna dimineata!:*
Somn usor, Misterra! :) :*

rozalia1

- Adineaori, cand iti mangaiam sanii, m-a vazut frate-tau cel mic... Ce sa-i dau ca sa nu ma spuna parintilor?
- Doar pt. atat, i se da de obicei intre 5 si 10 lei...



- Taticule, cand nu erai casatorit cu mamica si v-ati dus pe munte, eu unde eram ? intreaba Gigel.
- Cand ne-am urcat, erai in mine, dar la coborare , erai deja in ma-ta !


- Doamna, de ce ati cumparat la trei gaini, trei cocosi?
- Ei, domnule draga, se vede ca dumneata nu stii ce inseamna sa astepti...

rozalia1

- Costele, vezi ca la usa sunt doi tipi care colinda... Du`te si da`le cate 10 lei sa plece si sa ne lase in pace !
- Nu cred ca o sa vrea sa plece... ca unul dintre ei e tata!

rozalia1

- Ce face fiul fratelui tau, dentistul?
- E asociat cu tatal sau.
- Si-a deschis si el un cabinet stomatologic?
- Nu! A deschis o fabrica de nuga si caramele.

rozalia1

Pacienta si doctorul la o discutie inainte de o interventie de liposuctie abdominala:
-D-na draga,ce tatuaj frumos aveti...!

-Da,multumesc..actiune adolescentina

-Si ce reprezinta?

-Un delfin mic si dragalas...

-Dar bine d-na scumpa,nu v-ati gandit ca va creste si va arata ca o BALENA?!?

rozalia1

- De ce ai furat maşina asta?
- Mă gîndeam că nu are stăpîn.
- De ce?
- Maşina stătea la poarta cimitirului.

rozalia1

Două blonde stau de vorbă:
- Ştii, ieri mi-am făcut testul de sarcină!
Cealaltă, foarte curioasă:
- Şi au fost grele întrebările?


Scuzeeeee, frumoaselor blonde si destepte :*:*:*

Fr33zy

http://www.infomm. ro/maimuta-fotograf-vedeta-pe-facebook-un-uranguta n-al-gradinii-zoologice-din-viena-are-sute-de-fani -pe-internet-care-ii-acceseaza-pozele-realizate-de -acesta

:))))

Eu4ever

am observat ca pe soba mea de teracota am o placa decorativa care infatiseaza o casa maaare si frumoasa cu o alee pietruita din Sibiu!

Benu

KrisArny, bancul propus de tine a mai iesit bancul zilei, in data de Sâmbătă, 21 februarie 2009

Ai grija data viitoare la cautarea de elemente asemanatoare in optiunea de "Cauta un banc"

Multumesc.

Eu4ever

Jingle Bells, Monkey smells, Melman laid an egg, Marty thinks that Alex stinks, and the camel says Oy-yay!

nikko

Buna seara!:*:*:*

Benu

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm.
She remembered what her dad had once told her:
"If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it".
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said:
"Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart; now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

Benu

This snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new bride prepared for their wedding night.
He watched for a while as she spread three different kinds of creams and then a white foam in preparation for their love making. She finally announced that she was ready.
The man then asked if she still had that string of pearls necklace that he admired so much.
She replied:
"Well, yes darling, I do. But what in the world would you need it for at a time like this ?"
He looked again at all her "preparations" and replied:
"Ain't no way I'm gonna try to go into a mess like that without chains."

Benu

A nasty one ;)) just for the laughs... :D

A man says :
"Why are women like snow flakes?? They are all beautiful. They are all different. They can all be cold as ice. But they'll all melt when they land on our face..."

Benu

And... the reply, of course... :-"

A woman says :
"How is a man like a snow fall?
-You never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last."

Eu4ever

buna...seara...

Eu4ever

sarmana Rally, cred ca s-a saturat de cate injuraturi a primit azi de la utilizatoarele jignite de un anume...

alynabest

Buna seara!!!

Eu4ever

buna...ia vedeti "poza zilei", e la mine in avatar :)))))))

grasa, grasa, grasa contrabasa...

Eu4ever

era poza facuta acum vreo 20 de ani...sigur...si tot prin decembrie

gyovy

Buna seara!