Bancul Zilei

cristi2000

Neata !

maryjan

neata

corbeanu

neatza

maryjan

Odata cu alegerile de duminica vine momentul ala in care *********ii, oligofrenii, meltenii si alte asemenea categorii de conationali devin importanti.
Ne vor stabili din nou viitorul, noua, celorlalti.

maryjan

******* -  a se citi ana.lfabeti

fara_cont

An obese man was walking down a street one day, when he noticed a sign in the window of a building.
Lose 5 lbs guaranteed or your money back!
Curious he walked in and asked about the offer.
"It's quite simple. Go into the room on the left and remove all your clothes." said the receptionist.
Unable to contain his curiosity the man entered the room and removed his clothes. Across the room entered the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
"If you catch me you can f.uck me" she said.
The man began chasing her around and around the room but was unable to catch her. Huffing and puffing he weighed himself afterwards and was happy to see he lost 6 lbs!
The next day the man went back and saw another sign.
Lose 20 lbs or your money back
Excitedly he walked in and put down his money.
"Thank you" said the receptionist. "Please enter the room on your right and remove your clothes."
The man rushed in a removed his clothes ready to pounce when another beautiful woman walked in.
The largest black man with a huge **** walked in.
"If I catch you" he says "I get to f.uck you..."

fara_cont

What's is the difference between ignorance and negligence?
I don't know and I don't care.

fara_cont

Apparently one in three people cheat.
I wonder if it's my wife or my girlfriend.

fara_cont

I broke up with my girlfriend because I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's di.cks in it.

fara_cont

M-am trezit din cauza unei dureri cumplite in intreg corpul. Am deschis ochii si am vazut o sora medicala care statea alaturi de patul meu.
- Domnule Fujima - a spus ea - aveti noroc, ati supravietuit bombardamentului din Hiroshima de acum doua zile. Acum sunteti in spital, in afara oricarui pericol.
Foarte slabit, am intrebat:
- Unde sunt?
- In Nagasaki, a raspuns ea.

fara_cont

Boxerul, campion WBC, vine la poliţie:
- Un tip m-a jefuit. M-a amenintat şi mi-a luat cei 300$ pe care îi aveam la mine.
- Şi nu v-aţi apărat?
- Pentru numai atîţia bani?!

fara_cont

Bat azi in usa la baie:
- Esti dezbracata?
- "Nu", zice cumnata-mea.
- Ok, anunta-ma cand esti, ca trebuie sa intru sa-mi iau aparatul de barbierit.

fara_cont

Ma duc la restaurant sa mananc si cand sa intru... o blonda superba da sa intre in acelasi timp...
Cum era si normal ...deschid usa sa intre doamnele:
- Ooo... esti gentelman. Ce sa fac..o invit sa mancam impreuna si apoi platesc cu cardul...
- Hmm... esti bogat. Dar eu ma uitam deja numai la sanii ei iar ea observase asta la pantalonii mei...
- Esti ... dotat.. Si am mers la ea acasa...
- Esti viril!!! Asa ca am facut dragoste toata noaptea...
Dimineata, satisfacuta:
- Esti criminal!... Ce sa fac?...Am impuscat-o!

fara_cont

I have one alcoholic beverage and they call me an alcoholic.
But when I have a Fanta, no one calls me fantastic.

fara_cont

An elderly couple was having dinner at another couple's house. After their meal, the wives went into the kitchen.
The two elderly gents were talking, and one says, "Last night we went out to a fabulous new restaurant that I'd highly recommend."
The other man says, "What's the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thinks long and hard with a furrowed brow, finally saying, "Uh, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"
His friend replies, "A carnation?"
"No, no. The other one," the man says.
His friend suggests, "The poppy?"
"No, no, no," growls the man. "You know--the one that is red and has thorns."
His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes! Thank you," the first man says. He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

fara_cont

Dad: Son, you shouldn't m.asturbate otherwise you'll go blind.
Son: Dad, I'm over here...