Bancul Zilei

maryjan

neata

fara_cont

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators during the Olympics that they would like to take back....

   Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

   Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

   Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

   Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

   Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

   Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

   At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

   Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

   Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . . . Oh my God, what have I just said?...

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My girlfriend asked me if I had ever pis.sed in the shower. I said, "Yeah, a couple of times, accidentally." She said, "That's disgusting! What do you mean accidentally?!" "Hey," I said, "these things happen when you're taking a s.hit."

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Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."

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Noua mea prietenă de 18 ani tocmai a aflat vârsta mea reală, 45 de ani şi îmi reproşează:
– M-ai minţit, mi-ai zis că ai 30 şi jumătate.
– Eu cred că tu m-ai minţit că ai luat bacul la matematică...ia mai calculează încă o dată.

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Dinamovistii i-au pacalit pe stelisti in privinta coregrafiei, la inceputul meciului.
La randul lor, stelişti i-au păcălit pe englezi...au luat de la Manchester City cinci goluri , dar au fost egoiști și ei nu le-au dat nici măcar unul !

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Sa dai bani galeriei Stelei si sa apara sloganul Dinamo… asta inseamna sa te cheme Jiji Becali!

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Erată: "La randul lor, steliştii..." :)

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@mambo: Hahaha, evreu plecat din Moldova :)) era ultimul?  Iar mi-au stricat bancul, cei care mi l-au copiat. Citeste varianta originala - bancul zilei din 10.07.2015.

fara_cont

10.08.2015, scuze.

mambo

Ce spune un pedofil evreu:
- Copilas, nu cumperi o bombonica?

mambo

Intr-o farmacie un student foarte atragator cere un prezervativ. Farmacista:
-Vi-l impachetez sau vi-l imbrac?