Bancul Zilei

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Anglia. O familie nobila ia micul dejun. Lordul cărunt citeste din ziar stirile zilnice:
"Ieri, în apropiere de Dublin, un pluton de soldaţi a violat o asistentă medicală ..."
Mama (cu teroare):
- O Doamne, un pluton de soldaţi!
Fiica (visătoare):
- Oh! Un pluton de soldaţi...
Servitoarea (fara nicio emoţie):
- Hm... Mare lucru, un pluton de soldaţi...

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The people who live in these high rise flats are complaining their homes are not fire proof.
Unlike the huts made of cow sh.it and straw that they used to live in.

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Cât de ironic...unul s-a culcat președinte și s-a trezit dimineață învins, altul s-a culcat beat și s-a trezit premier.

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Aseara, doua prostituate stau pe marginea soselei...una din ele spune:
– Presimt ca vom avea o noapte plina de clienti...simt miros de p*la in aer!
Cealalta:
- Nu, dragă, am râgâit eu!

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A farmer buys a new young co.ck. As soon as he gets it home, the co.ck rushes and fu.cks all 150 hens.
The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the co.ck screws all 150 hens again. Now, the farmer starts getting worried. The next day, he finds the co.ck fu.cking the ducks, the geese, and the lone parrot too.
That evening the farmer finds the co.ck lying out in the field, pale, half-dead, with vultures circling his head.
The farmer shouts, "you deserve that you horny ba.stard!"
The co.ck opens one eye slowly, points up, and replies "shhhh...don't shout, wait for them to land."

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A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."

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Iubito...tu ești una la un milion!
Restu' cereau două...două jumate...

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The burka: getting ugly women laid since the seventh century.

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You know there's no official training for garbage men?
They just pick it up as they go along.

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Curaj este atunci când te duci la prima întâlnire nemachiată.
Tupeu este când te duci și la a doua, la a treia...

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Senzațional! Nu o să-ți vină să crezi! Vezi ce ne pregătește ministrul culturii! Click aici!

maryjan

O sa mi fie dor de voi..... P.L.M. !!!!