Joke of the Day

maryjan

neata

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Nu uitați! Oamenii fără copii fac dragoste. Părinții ai căror copii dorm în camera cealaltă fac cardio.

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Ten soldiers are camping in a forest, when two thieves try to steal from them and are caught. The soldiers tell them, "We have to kill you now but since we are in a good mood we'll let you go provided you can make us all laugh". The thieves agree and the first one begins telling a very funny story. Nine of the soldiers are laughing their butts off except for one of them, so they tell the thief, "Sorry, you were funny but not all of us laughed so we have to kill you", and they kill him. The second thief isn't as funny plus now he's nervous so he tells a very boring story. Now nine of the soldiers aren't laughing except for the one who didn't laugh before, so they kill the second thief as well. After killing him the soldiers ask their friend, "Why did you laugh when it was a boring story but not when it was actually funny?", "Oh," he said, "when the second guy was talking, I understood what the first guy said, and it was damn funny"

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Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks.
After three weeks the Syrians meet again at a McDonalds. The first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practice and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it is a Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby Keith and Lynyrd Skynyrd and my favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. Beat that!"
The other Syrian simply replies with: "Get out of my country, you fu.cking towelhead."

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Nu te entuziasma prea mult cand o femeie iti spune " Esti viata mea " . Femeile sunt ca pisicile ...au 9 vieti.