Bancul Zilei

maryjan

neata

fara_cont

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen.
He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly.
He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!"

fara_cont

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?' St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

fara_cont

My wife phoned me, panting and breathless.
"Where are you?" she moaned.
"I'm at the pub." I replied.
She said, "I think the baby's coming!"
I said, "Well, he won't get in. He's underage."

fara_cont

În autobuz:
- Îmi cer scuze de deranj, dar eu cobor la următoarea stație, fiți amabil și permiteți-mi să trec.
Un băiețaș de cartier, uitându-se de sus în jos:
- Ce fr.aiere, nu poți vorbi normal, ce, te crezi foarte inteligent?
- Nicidecum domnule, sunt la fel de d.obitoc ca și dumneavoastră.

fara_cont

A guy walks into a showroom, not knowing it was hosting a feminist exhibit. as he was the only male there, he quickly became the target of the female ironies. He bravely coped with their sarcasm for an hour, ignoring them and keeping calm. However, after more than an hour of being mocked constantly, he couldn't stand it anymore and started pulling their hair and sla.pping them. Shocked by this outburst, they ask angrily:
-What the hell is wrong with you? Can't you act like a gentleman towards women?
-I have been acting like a gentleman for more than an hour, now I am acting like a lady!