Bancul Zilei

ditzy

f tare bancul q olteanca:)))

Claudyu04

Este vara si foarte cald. Sotul iese din baie si ii spune sotiei:
- Iubito, e foarte cald si trebuie sa tund peluza. Ce crezi ca vor spune vecinii daca ies afara dezbracat?
Sotia il priveste si raspunde:
- Ca probabil m-am casatorit cu tine pentru bani...

- Cum au spart chinezii siteul Pentagonului ?
- A incercat fiecare cate o parola !

Era candva unu' care vroia sa-si cumpere un papagal. S-a dus deci la magazin, iar vanzatorul amabil ii prezinta tot felul de specii si indivizi, dar insista mai ales asupra unuia:
- Papagalul acesta este cu totul deosebit ... Daca il tragi de un picior fluiera, daca il
tragi de celalalt vorbeste iar ...
- Iar daca ma tragi de amandoua o sa cad !, raspunse papagalul.

ditzy

Witty Answers:

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter?

Customer : Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.

Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

ditzy

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean  if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

A drunk man  was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunk man immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."

Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.

ditzy

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor!
1st thief : Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How's that?
Student : Ladies first.

Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

ditzy

Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting:
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 10 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well,"she began the confession, "I got 5 in spelling, 3 in math and 2 in science."

voda_mihai

4 directori de fabrici
de bere se intalnesc la un restaurant. Directorul de la Stela Artois isi comanda o bere Stela Artois, cel de la Tuborg, Tuborg cel de la Silva, Silva si cel de la Noroc comanda apa minerala.
Cel de la Tuborg intreaba:
- Bai, tu de ce ai comandat apa minerala ?
- Pai daca nu bea nimeni bere !

voda_mihai

Copilu' catre mama:
-Mama,mama vine tata!
Mama:-Pe care trotuar?
Copilu':-Pe amandoua!

alynabest

am auzit si eu un banc ...sper ca nu-l stiati :D

Discutie intre doua blonde:
- Auzi fata, m-a invitat George la majoratul lui ! :X:X
- Ei da ? Si cati ani face ? ;;)
- De unde sa stiu, ca nu mi-a spus. :|

=)))))))

......

nu prea am avut timp sa citesc bancurile de pe site demult..........scz dak o mai fost:P