Bancul Zilei

the.japoniz

:)))))))))sa ploua cu piatra sau fara??:))))

D0r3L

De cand au inceput toti sa ia bancuri de pe 9gag? :D

Mistic

Redacţia revistei Playboy a ars din cauza unui pictorial incendiar...

Mistic

a studia (verb)
Definitie:
Actiunea de a manca, de a intra pe facebook, de a te uita la televizor cu un caiet langa tine.

Mistic

Ploua torenţial. Un beţiv se împiedică şi cade într-o băltoacă. Cineva vrea să-l ridice, dar el protestează:
− Lăsaţi-mă! Eu ştiu să înot! Salvaţi mai întâi femeile şi copiii!

25

While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi,horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk to Bernie.
Rabbi: "What are doing here with a dog?"
Bernie: "The dog came here to pray."
"Oh, come on." says the Rabbi.
"YES!" says Bernie.
Rabbi: "I don't believe you. You are just fooling around; that's not a proper thing to do in temple."
Bernie: "Its true!"..
"Ok", says the Rabbi, "then show me what the dog can do."
"OK" says Bernie nodding to the dog...The dog proceeds to open up the barrel under his neck and removes a yarmulke, a tallis (puts them on his head) and prayer book and actually starts saying prayers in Hebrew! The Rabbi is so shocked he listens for a full 15 minutes.When the Rabbi regains his composure, he is so impressed with the quality of the praying he says to Bernie. "Do you think your dog would consider going to Rabbinical school????"
Bernie, throwing up his hands in disgust says,
"YOU TALK TO HIM! He wants to be a doctor!"

25

The girl knelt in the confessional and said,
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What is it, child?"
"Father, I have committed the sin of vanity.
Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."
The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin... it's simply a mistake."

25

Why can't black women become nuns?
They can't say superior after mother.

25

During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.

"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "*Yours* is."

25

Fellow 1 : "Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too."

Fellow 2 : "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?"

Fellow 1 : "A judge told him."

maryjan

neata

maryjan

Cine a indraznit sa-mi rascoleasca biroul in halul asta? tuna directorul.
- Baiatul d-voastra cel mic, domnule!
- Talentat copil, nu-i asa?

maryjan

iar a aparut bancul cu pisicuta :))))))))

andrasiatat

nu pot sa cred ca ati votat bancul ala care dupa ce ca este o varianta proasta a unui banc foarte cunoscut,barbatul din banc este mai imbecil decat femeia.in mod normal **** ti-o faci singur pentru ca nu ai alta alternativa.

horhe4

Bestial... Vreau sa votez problema zilei ca fiind bancul zilei... se poate ? :))))))))

maryjan

va anunt in mod solemn , ca maine e ultima oara cand mai votez bancul cu  pisicuta:)))))

maryjan

pai da , asta e bancul original : He: "I want a blowjob"
She: "Could you be more romantic?"
He : " I want a blowjob in the rain"

katalin_pkboss

While visiting England, President Obama is invited to tea with the Queen. In conversation, he ask what her leadership philosphy is. She says she surround sherself with intelligent people, which helps her to make wise decisions. He asks how does she know if the people around her are intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions, says the Queen. Allow me to demonstrate."
She phones Tiny Blair and asks: "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: your mother has a child and your father has same child and this child is not your brother and this child is not your sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds: "It's me, your highness."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir" says the Queen. She hangs up and says: "Did you get that, Mr. Obama?"
---
Upon returning to DC, Obama decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms and says: "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why of course, Sir. What's on your mind?"
"Umm, so like... your mother has a child and your father has same child and this child is not your brother and this child is not your sister. Who is it?"
Helms onders the question for several minutes and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Obama agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls Colin Powell at the State Department and pass forward the question.
"Look here Mr. Powell, your mother has a child and your father has same child and this child is not your brother and this child is not your sister. Who is it?"
Collin answers immediately: "It's me of course, you dumb ass."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims: "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Collin Powell!"
And Obama replies in disgust:
"Wrong you dumb ass, it's Tony Blair!"

purkylos

hmm....multi fani 9gag pe aici cred...

bubu30

Ceartă în famile.
Ea:
- Eşti un tiran! N-ai pic de inimă. Dacă aş muri, nici n-ai veni la mormântul meu.
El:
- Încearcă şi o să vezi.

bubu30

Oare chiar sunt atat de sexy de ma f.te viata atat de des???