Bancul Zilei

penelopaa1

Patru lucruri avem mai mult decat credem: defecte, datorii, ani si dusmani.

penelopaa1

Decat sa crezi despre tine ca esti o persoana urata, mai bine sa te vezi drept o maimuta frumoasa!

penelopaa1

Dupa ce prietena mea mi-a spus ca e insarcinata, am inceput sa ma gandesc la tot felul de nume.
Intr-un final, am ales Juan Carlos si am fugit in Spania.

penelopaa1

Data viitoare cand iti mai vine sa razi de alegerile nevestei, aminteste-ti ca si tu esti una dintre ele!

penelopaa1

Am incetat sa ma mai lupt cu demonii din interiorul meu. Suntem de aceeasi parte acum...

penelopaa1

Femeia are doua scopuri in viata: sa se casatoreasca si sa arate necasatorita!

penelopaa1

Imi invidiez parintii! Imi va fi greu sa fac un copil ca al lor!

penelopaa1

Am facut multe lucruri rele anul asta. Dar le-am facut foarte bine...

penelopaa1

Femeile cu sanii mari….
… pot face rost de un taxi chiar si in zilele cele mai aglomerate;
… pot sa tina o revista uscata in timp ce stau intinse in cada;
… au mai multa putere de negociere (mai ales cu barbatii mai scunzi decat ele);
… de obicei, mai gasesc resturi de popcorn daca mai le este foame dupa film;
… intotdeauna plutesc mai bine;
… stiu intotdeauna unde sa se uite prima data dupa cerceii pierduti;
… nu au probleme in a-si gasi un partener pentru slow dance;
… au un loc unde sa-si puna ochelarii cand stau pe canapea.

penelopaa1

Femeile cu sanii mici…
… nu provoaca accidente rutiere de fiecare data cand se apleaca in public;
… intotdeauna par mai tinere;
… mancarea scapata din lingura nimereste pe servetul din poala;
… isi pot vedea intotdeauna degetele de la picioare si pantofii;
… pot dormi pe burta;
… nu au probleme sa se strecoare la volanul masinilor mai mici;
… stiu ca oamenii pot citi tot mesajul de pe tricourile lor;
… stiu ca ce-i prea mult strica;
… pot veni mai tarziu la o piesa de teatru fara sa atraga atentia intregii audiente;
… pot face aerobic fara sa existe riscul unui auto-KO accidental.

maryjan

neata

:))) hai sa incerc din nou, I'm new at this :P

There are four kinds of s.ex :

HOUSE S.EX - When you are newly married and have s.ex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM S.EX - After you have been married for a while, you only have s.ex in the bedroom.

HALL S.EX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "F.UCK YOU"

COURTROOM S.EX - When your wife and her lawyer f.uck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "

A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"

Did you hear about the blind circumcicionist?
He got the sack.

What did one tit say to the other?
I hope we get support soon or people will think we’re nuts.

fara_cont

Cheer up, Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president , until after serving 27 years in prison .