Bancul Zilei

shok

neatza (:|

mariza

Neatza si tie.

lucius91

bancu lu cristimilan7 e misto =))) asemanator cu ala ABDUL IUBESTE ABDUL MAI TAIE

funny_angel

Ce liniste in seara asta...pai in alte zile la ora asta era plin pe aici ce se intampla cu voi ????A dat criza si peste voi si faceti economie de curent =))))))))))

demlasjr

ala cu faxul e si vechi....si demodat....si a fost si de N ori la tv...bune mai sunt ala cu fumatul, ala cu vanatul si cel cu teatrul

Claudyu04

- Stiti de ce au femeile menopauza?
- Sa le ramana sange si pt varice...

Claudyu04

- Ioane, am doua vesti proaste, cum sa ti le zic?
- Combina-le!
- Nevasta-ta ne inseala!

Claudyu04

O pustoaica intra la frizerie cu tac'su. Sta langa scaunul frizerului, mancand o gogosica, in timp ce tac'su se tunde. Frizerul ii zambeste si-i spune cu amabilitate:
- Draguta, o sa ai par pe gogosica.
- Stiu, raspunde ea. O sa-mi creasca si tatele...

Un englez, un American si un arab stau de vorba despre familiile lor intr-un bar. Englezul zice:
"Am 10 copii acasa si daca as mai face unul as avea o echipa de fotbal!"
"Eeii", spune americanul, "eu am 15 copii acasa si daca ma mai fortez o data imi fac o echipa de fotbal american!"
In sfarsit, arabul zice: "Eu am 17 neveste acasa". Face o pauza in timp ce soarbe tacticos din pahar. "Daca imi mai iau una, imi fac teren de golf!"

Sotul ei o conduce la aeroport si ii ureaza "Drum bun!" Sotia ii multumeste si il intreaba ce vrea sa-i aduca. Sotul rade si spune ca vrea o italianca. Femeia a tacut si a plecat. Peste doua saptamani sotul se duce sa o ia de la aeroport si o intreaba cum a fost calatoria. Apoi intreaba ce s-a intamplat cu cadoul lui. Ea il intreaba:"Ce cadou?" "Cel pe care ti l-am cerut! O italianca!" "O, acela.", a raspuns ea. "Am facut tot ce am putut, acum trebuie sa asteptam noua luni sa vedem daca e fata."

Claudyu04

Un actor trebuie sa participe la filmarile unui episod periculos. El, cu neliniste il intreaba pe regizor:
- Domnule regizor, permiteti o intrebare: funia nu se va rupe?
- Bravo! exclama regizorul, o idee formidabila!

Seful de trib Matumbo merge in excursie de studii in Anglia. Intors in satul sau african, il ia pe vraci deoparte si ii povesteste:
- La Londra exista niste vrajitori grozavi! 22 de oameni imbracati colorat se intalnesc pe un teren mare si alearga ca nebunii dupa o minge de piele. Si ce sa mai zic: cel tarziu in zece minute incepe sa ploua...

25

A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce."

On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce."

The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."

25

With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called "Marriage Anonymous." Whenever a guy feels like getting married, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on her face and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it.

cipriotul

O femeie intra in bucatarie, isi gaseste sotul la vanatoare de muste si il intreaba ce face.
- Vanez muste, raspunde el.
- A! ai omorat vreuna?
- Da, 3 masculi si 2 femele, spune el.
Intrigata, femeia il intreaba cum le deosebeste, la care el raspunde:
- Pai 3 dintre ele erau pe-o sticla de bere si 2 pe telefon.

misterra

Dorothy is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She goes to the mortuary to look at her dearly departed & the instant she sees him she starts wailing & crying.

One of the attendants rushes up to comfort her. Through her tears she explains that she was upset because Albert was wearing a black suit and that it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.

The attendant apologises & explains that they always put the bodies in a black suit as a matter of course, but he’d see what he could do. The next day Dorothy returns to the mortuary to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day.

When the attendant pulls back the curtain, Dorothy manages to smile through her tears as Albert is now wearing a smart blue suit. She asks the attendant

“how did you manage to get hold of that beautiful blue suit?”

“Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband’s size was brought in & he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit” the attendant replied.

He continued “After that it was simply a matter of swapping the heads” .

misterra

If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

And whose cruel idea was it to put an “S” in the word “Lisp”?

If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him….Is he still wrong? =))))))))

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide….is it considered a hostage situation?

Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Would a wingless fly be called a walk?

Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked?

Is true that cannibals won’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

sanmarco

astept un comentariu de la ,,gabi,, .... pentru ca nu a aparut inca ,,cel mai bun comentariu,, .... ieri a aparut deja la ora 00.01...

sanmarco

CER SCUZE ..... NU AM VRUT SA GRESESC CU ,,VOM,,....

misterra

Daca nu m-ar fi distrat si pe mine comentariul, poate as fi luat atitudine. Dar asa, nu a fost cazul.
Daca nu v-a placut comentariul, trebuia sa scrieti voi unul mai bun, nu sa va cramponati ca a fost ales la ora 1. Comentariul zilei se poate acorda oricand de la 00:01 si pana la 23:59 si se poate schimba in functie de ce alte comentarii spirituale au mai aparut intre timp. Gata, spor la scris :)

shok

@sanmarco comentariul zilei nu depinde de ora sau user...si eu am avut un chenar inainte chair de ora 1 care dup'aia a fost schimbat...e in functite de cel mai amuzant comentariu nu conteaza userul..si inca ceva...sa te superi ca nu primesti un chenar....m'as fi asteptat de la un copil de 10-12 ani sa faca asta..dar...

sanmarco

AM INTELES ! M-AM AGITAT DEGEABA ! VA SALUT PE TOTI CEI CARE M-ATI LAMURIT!