Bancul Zilei

Two blokes were on a plane one day, and they were sitting side by side. Coincidentally, they each had one black eye. They started talking... "hey mate do you mind if I ask how you got your black eye?"
"Yeah no worries", the other one responded. "I was at the airport check in and when I got to the counter, I couldn't help but notice the girl at the check in had massive tits, so instead of asking for two tickets to Pittsburg I accidentally asked for two pickets to titsburg and she hit me!.. Can I ask how you got yours?"....
"Yeah no worries, it's actually quite a similar story to yours" the other guys says... "I was at home this morning about to eat breakfast with the Mrs and kids and instead of asking my mrs "hey can you please pass me the frosty's cereal", I accidentally said "you've ruined my life you evil cunt".

Daca nu postati statusuri despre venirea primaverii eu si acum ma dadeam cu sania......

..Soțul e acea persoană care după ce duce gunoiul, se poartă de parcă ar fi făcut curat în toată casa..

Intr-un cimitir, langa un loc de veci, un tip il intreaba pe un altul.
- Sotia?
- Nu, soacra.
- Si mai bine…